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a caring family quest part 1 by ~gigmadesh200:icongigmadesh200:



Narrator this is a story of how wise heart had discovered the cubs and brought them together one unusual morning not like any other in the forest of feelings two new care cousins moved there they didn't have any homes of their own, the cousins we’re called wise heart owl, and special heart seal wise heart had always cared for his wife special heart she meant everything to him and she felt the same way for him.
We should go to care lot! Wise heart maybe we can get help from special heart. So the two decided to go to care lot to see if anyone there could help them.
Tender heart noticed two strange figures coming to him, they looked like an owl and a seal they must be new around here. Harmony! Oh harmony! Come quickly we have 2 new guests in care lot lets make them feel welcome. Tender heart said, who are you? Tender heart asked I'm wise heart owl, and this is my wife special heart seal. Pleased to meet you, special heart said I'm tender heart, and this is my girlfriend harmony bear. Welcome to care lot, they both said. Now tell us what brings you to care lot? Tender heart said, well we are looking for a place to settle down and start a family! Wise heart said, oh that sounds wonderful harmony bear said yes, but the sad part is we don't have any place to stay! Don't worry said tender heart; you can stay in the caring mansion the best place in all of care lot. Tender heart said, sound's wonderful hooray we finally got a home! Wise heart and special heart said, you two seem to care and love. Harmony bear said we do, wise heart and special heart said at the same time, well there's some people I'D like you to meet If you will follow me to the palace of hearts. Tender heart and harmony bear said, well here we are. Wow so this is the palace of hearts special heart said. Yes tender heart said, and allow me to introduce noble heart and true heart. Tender heart said so these are the new cousins in care lot, true heart said.
For showing your love is greater than any fire you will be named wise heart owl, and your wife special heart seal noble heart said your tummy symbols will show and prove others just how much you care now I have also heard you wanted to start your own family right true heart said yes we would want a big family special heart said well there’s a certain cat who can show you the way to the great wishing star he will help you he lives not to far form here come I will show you said tender heart well here we are tender heart said wow he lives here wise heart said yes amazing isn't it tender heart said you can say that again special heart said he should be home well I'll be seeing you goodbye tender heart and thank you wise heart and special heart said together knock, knock,  knock yes who is it blaze heart said well we heard that you know the way to the great wishing star so we  we’re hoping you could take us to him special heart said well I'd be happy to blaze heart said the name's blaze heart panther and this is my wife Rosalina  pleased to meet you Rosalyn said the pleasure's all ours said wise heart and special heart together  well shall we be off there's no time like the present that's what I always say blaze heart said so how are going to get there anyway wise heart said that's easy well use my cloud car  blaze heart said are we there yet said  wise heart  yep we are finally here said blaze heart so you two are the care cousins who want start a family great wishing star said how did you know special heart said that's easy I see everything that's going on down on earth and to care a lot to prove that your love and caring is so great. I will assign you to find 8 cubs great wishing star said here take these star communicators they will help you find the cubs each day I will mark the location of  the cubs down on earth you will see a dot on your star communicator if its glowing blue you are far away if it is glowing pink you are very close you will have a large journey ahead of you tomorrow blaze heart you will assist them and train them to use and control their tummy symbols the great wishing star said yes It shall be done but It's late tonight we should rest blaze heart said and tomorrow marks the beginning of your great journey the great wishing star said.


End of chapter 1
©2008-2010 ~gigmadesh200
:icongigmadesh200:

Author's Comments

the same story with all the bugs and errors out of it
wise heart owl and special heart seal copyright of gigmadesh200 tender heart harmony bear true heart noble heart horse and the great wishing star are all copyight of nelvana and dic blazeheartpanther and rosalina are copyright of blazeheartpanther and nintendo

Comments


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:iconheart-will-wolf:
well..its still hard to understand man...

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If you want something, go for it!!!!
:icongigmadesh200:
what did I do wrong when a charachter was finished talking I put their name to what they wer'e saying
:iconteacherbear:
One thing I am noticing is that it is difficult to see when one sentence ends and another begins. Your best bet will be to type out your sentences better. Proper punctuation will help your readers out tremendously. Once you've done that, I'll be able to further help you with corrections.

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For the love of chicken, don't tempt me!!!
:iconheart-will-wolf:
its simple... put the speechs between "", like Blaze Heart And I do..you

"speech" somebody said

its simple

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If you want something, go for it!!!!
:icongigmadesh200:
look I know an easy way you could help me just copy and paste my story into your wordpad fix it then resubmit it for me
:iconteacherbear:
I can try, but the important thing is that you learn how it's done. Call me an old fuddy duddy, but I happen to think that creative writing is a great way to improve your skills as a writer. What I can do is try to offer suggestions on how to word it, and then you can decide on how you are wanting to go from there. Unfortunately, this will have to wait until after finals.

I'd be glad to offer you some examples of sentance structure so that you can get some ideas for yourself. Though not perfect, my fan fiction has some decent examples of how to form sentances and paragraphs that are relatively simple to follow. You just might get the ideas you're looking for with a little bit of patience, no fear of asking questions, and enough determination to get your ideas out there.

I'm here to help, but not to do the work for you. Besides, I'd feel like I was stealing your work and plagerising your idea if I had to repair your work for you. I know you can make your work great if that's what you want to do. Who knows, you might learn some neat things.

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For the love of chicken, don't tempt me!!!
:icongigmadesh200:
well when you are not too busy can you write a story for me
:iconteacherbear:
I've got a couple of stories up of my custom and her family on another website if you'd be interested in reading them. After finals, I'll be uploading my fan fiction onto DeviantArt, but I can provide you a link to where the stories are currently kept.

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For the love of chicken, don't tempt me!!!
:icongigmadesh200:
great post the link

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November 22, 2008
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